In July 2015, I broke up with my long-term boyfriend of the time. On social media, we looked happy. Everyone told us how cute and great we looked. They didn’t know about the emotional turmoil that was in the relationship. I don’t think he sees that still. For me, however, the relationship scarred me. It has been over a year now, and I find myself letting it go finally and forgiving and moving on. I wrote this soon after we broke up.
When Someone Tells You
When someone tells you you’re crazy over and over,
You start to believe them.
When someone tells you to shut up every time you talk,
You start to apologize when you speak up.
When someone says that it’s you that pushes them over the edge,
You start to blame yourself when someone is upset.
When someone says you aren’t worth anything when you’re sad,
You start pretending to be happy even when you’re breaking.
When someone tells you your anxieties are a burden for them,
You start keeping all your hurt to yourself.
When someone tells you that you shouldn’t be mad,
You start to feel that all your feelings are invalid.
When others call you selfish when you take care of yourself,
You start to think you’re not worthy.
When your friends abandon you because of issues,
You start to feel bad for people who are around you.
When you become vulnerable and are rejected,
You start to hide away and be okay with solitude.
When no one seems to care what you are feeling,
It cements your idea of unworthiness.