Vulnerability​

Lately, I have been trying to discover what it is like to be vulnerable (I have been reading a lot of Brene Brown. I love her). To be open. To engage. And to feel like you’re enough. Those have to be the hardest feelings for anyone to go through. These are the feelings that I fight with every day. When you are open with someone you risk judgement and rejection. What I discovered recently is that when you are open to people you also risk joy and support. I found that the risk of joy and support outweighs the risk of rejection. Remembering that lesson will be easier on some days and harder on others.  But on those days when you want to run and hide. On those days when you feel like you are not worth anything are the days where you need to remember this lesson the most. When you have in your head that you are nothing or that you are pathetic it is so hard to turn those thoughts off. I have been there. Hell, I am there. There are days when I feel like I can’t get out of bed. There are moments that I let my past take over my head and drown me. There are days when I feel like I can never be as good as anyone else. Those days are the easiest to remember. You have to remember the other days too. You have to remember those days where you could do nothing but smile. Those days where you felt like you had real friends and real support. Those days are easy to forget. Nothing sticks out because everything is okay, but these are the days that are the most important to remember. Those days when you feel like nothing, look in your mind and find those memories that are inspirational. Be vulnerable. Take risks. Open up. You will be more welcomed for it.

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