Day 03: Something with which you struggle.

Okay – so I think if you have read any pieces from my blog you will realize I struggle with anxiety and depression. It comes and goes. It’s constantly there. I have to be constantly aware of what I’m doing and how it can affect my mental health. I don’t talk about that all the time. The effort it takes to take the time and energy to make sure that I’m taking care of myself can be exhausting. When I’m not feeling like going out or socializing, I have to analyze why I’m feeling this way. I know when I am dipping back down to depression and anxiety, I start not wanting to talk to others. I am also an introvert, though. I need to time by myself. I enjoy time by myself. So when I’m feeling like not going out, is it because I’m depressed or is it because I just need time? Am I getting scared about living alone because it’s normal to be scared or am I taking it over the top with my fears?

It is also about how I handle everyday life things. Am I getting enough sleep? Am I eating right? Do I need to relax my head my going for a walk? Reading? Puzzle?

Constantly having to see where your feelings are coming from, plus checking my everyday habits. I still constantly struggle with this. I need reminders. Some days, I hate that I have to do this. Wishing that I didn’t have to keep a tab on my mental health. Wishing I was “normal”. Other days, I appreciate it. I like becoming more self-aware and taking responsibility for my mental health. Every day is a new struggle, but it is what made me who I am.

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