One of Those Days

Yesterday I had one of those days. It was even a day I have been looking forward to for a long time. You see, my family puts together a fundraiser every year. Well, this is only the second year. I didn’t get to go last year. I was excited to be able to go this year. Then it happened. I don’t know if you guys know it, but it’s the feeling of dread. It’s the “oh shit” moment when you know that your night will not be going as planned. It’s never for an actual reason, though. No, that would be too logical. It was because of a dream. It was because of where I was mentally last year when the event was happening. It was because of past events that I think I’m over and then all of the sudden it hits me like a pile of bricks. This is when my sister started to not talk to me for months. I was still close with my friend who no longer speaks to me. My dream was about my ex. I was still in a relationship with him and I couldn’t break up with him or leave. That night, I was sleeping with the guy I am dating. It brought back up my old fears and anxieties, about everything really. I am still dealing with it today. Hopefully, it will ease as the day goes on and I start taking care of myself. I took a shower but still haven’t eaten. You just pay attention, take care, and move forward. Even on the bad days. Never giving up.

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