Fallen Apart

So this whole week has had a dark cloud over it. Every day I struggled more than normal. It finally tipped today. Today I was trying to make an effort to take care of myself. I got a haircut, went out for a drink with a co-worker, but then I left the hair cut. I hit a guardrail. Okay, not really hit, but tapped it. I felt like an idiot. All the way home I was stressing. So I tipped. I came home and tried to jump in the shower. I wanted to shave my legs. I could only shave one before I couldn’t do it. I got out of the shower and sat on the floor. I was barely able to get changed. I didn’t want to eat even though I haven’t eaten since noon. The guy I’m seeing was supposed to come over tonight. He had to go to an event first. I texted him that I needed him tonight. I never did that before. He didn’t immediately respond the way I wanted him to. I flipped. I told him not to come over. He called me. He didn’t act angry or upset or annoyed. He just called to help. I pushed him away but he stayed. This was different. I felt better after we talked. It was strange. It was good.I picked myself up off the floor.  I hate pasta. I drank tea. It was a struggled but I was finally able to pick up the pieces. I don’t get this way all the time. It helps to know that I am not alone in this.

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