Some days I’m just not okay. Sometimes I need to cry. Other days I don’t feel anything. I don’t know what to do sometimes on either of those days. Today was one of those days. I didn’t sleep well because my anxiety kept me up. I arrived home and slightly didn’t know what to do.… Continue reading My Mess Today
Going to therapy is hard. I love it, but it can be incredibly difficult. Since the summer of my junior year before high school, I have seen around seven therapists or psychologists and two psychiatrists. For some, I only saw them for a session or two, but others I went to for a little bit… Continue reading My Therapy Journey
The first artist that came to mind was Maria Mena. Not many people know who she is in Connecticut or even the United States. She had one album released here – “White Turns Blue.” I started to get into her a few years after that album was released. I was doing my perusing on YouTube,… Continue reading Day 15: A band/musical artist whose music impacted your life.
This past weekend was Christmas. I swear I was looking forward to it. My brother was coming home. I would be able to spend time with him, parents, sister, and niece. I ruined it, or, I guess, my mental health ruined it. I couldn't enjoy any of it. I left early Christmas day, skipping Christmas… Continue reading Day 14: Someone who has made your life worth living.
Listen loved ones, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for ruining holidays. I’m sorry for fighting. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry for questioning. I’m sorry for hurting you. I am, but I know you heard this before. The words dripped from my mouth. You listen each time and nod. Then you say you heard… Continue reading Holidays
I want to travel. There are so many places I want to see that I cannot just pick one, but Iceland and Patagonia are on the top of my list. I’m nervous, though. I’m nervous that I will be too scared to actually go. I hadn't traveled internationally since Peru in April 2015. I traveled… Continue reading Day 13: Discuss Something on Your Bucket List
Today I wanted to quit. I wanted to leave it all. I became so tired of trying to be okay, giving, pushing through. I wanted to go home and crawl under a blanket. I wanted to cry. I wanted not to think. I wanted to skip over the next few months. I wanted not to… Continue reading When I want to quit…
Some days I feel weak. Other days I feel strong. Mentally that is. On days I feel weak, I think of all the past events that still affect me in some way. I had a therapy appointment where I talked about a past “trauma.” I put quotes around the word “trauma” because I feel ridiculous… Continue reading Weak days and Strong days
I started dating someone new about four months ago. Yes, I met him online. He's great. The relationship is moving along. I met his family and friends. He met my family and friends. I'm comfortable. I like him a lot. I am also one foot out the door. Constantly. Last year, around this time, I… Continue reading Relationships