When I think of myself, of who I am, I often think of anxiety and depression topping the list. Those two identities often influence my daily life and relationships. I see myself as a burden because of them. I was talking to my therapist about this, and she mentioned that is not what others see first. I wanted to understand what others could see. I wanted to look at pieces of myself and see more than only my struggles. Below are bits and pieces of me. Some are more serious than others, but they are all a part of who I am.
I travel. I read. I am stubborn. Driving calms me. I love browsing flea markets. A small part of me still believes I can become a monster hunter. Being outside grounds me. I wish I was better at outdoor activities, but I do my best. My imagination gets the best of me sometimes. I am a grad student. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am a girlfriend. I see Connecticut as my home and currently where I want to be. I often try way too hard. I hate seeing other people uncomfortable. Doing puzzles and watching SVU is one of my favorite activities. I love trying new things and rarely turn down an adventure. Exploring new towns lets me know there is more out there. I don’t consider myself religious, but I know I believe in something. I don’t know where I will be in five years, and it makes me feel excited and nervous. I become nervous thinking my past experiences will always define me. Dresden Files is my favorite book series. I use to believe I was going to marry Rupert Grint. I talk and laugh too loud. There’s only so much social activity I can take before I need to recharge. I want to have an adventure cat later in life. I constantly think about my next time I am going to eat. I care about others, though sometimes I show it in weird ways. I try to write. I like to share. I love hearing stories. Health Class affected me. I collect books. My favorite place to shop is Goodwill – I’m obsessed really (thank you, Sarah!).
There’s obviously a lot more that I am. Sometimes I forget it. Anxiety and Depression certainly are a piece of me, but I am also more than that. I often become lost. Sometimes it’s good to write down more pieces to remember all that you are.