Tangled & Can’t Breathe

There are some days when I feel like I can’t breathe. I feel the weight of the world pressing down on my chest. Every bad thing I could possibly think of will start happening. The feeling will come and grow throughout the day. If it is one of those days, any small thing can trigger (interacting with someone who is nongenuine, seeing something on social media, etc.). My heart drops into my chest. I feel like I’m tangled inside of myself. Twisting and turning wanting to scream. There’s so much happening, but there is no way to appropriately articulate it with words. It often causes misunderstandings. All I can tell is that I’m hurting, so I lash out and use unhealthy coping mechanisms. It’s me trying to get my mind to stop. To just be quiet for a minute so I can breathe. It’s difficult to let go at times and think clearly. Only a few things can do that, and I don’t always have the ability to do so.  Today I was able to hike and use some positive mantras (I Am Worthy), it is still going to be one of those days, but I’m trying.

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