You know when you do your best, but it’s still never good enough. Or when you try to explain something but no one seems to get it. I’m paying my dues you know. I am trying really hard. I’m doing everything I need to do, but it doesn’t seem to be working. Nothing seems to be working. I’m in the dark constantly and not knowing how to break out. I can’t be everything, and I would like to believe I’m something, but right now I think I’m nothing.
I’m scared. I’m so scared for the future because I really don’t know what it will bring. I’m struggling right now. And I’m really tired of struggling and be alone in this. Here’s what I think I learned, that it doesn’t matter what you do or what you try because no one cares. No one is going to care if you are doing the best you can if you can’t do anything. If no one is willing to help you or be there for you, what does it matter? If you will never be on anyone’s level, what’s the point in being there at all?
Maybe it’s time just to give up because I just can’t anymore. Turning that humanity switch off.