Living Again

You think you can't survive the pain. You sometimes don't know how you can make it through another day. But then you do. Then the days turn to weeks, and you keep getting stronger. The pain is still there, of course. It feels like a weak pulse in your gut. It's a constant reminder so... Continue Reading →

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Don’t Tell Me What to Do

Everyone deals with struggles different ways, and that’s okay. Oh, my- how sometimes I forget that. When I struggle, I’m vocal. I’m not great at hiding away all my flaws. I’m not good at having people believe I’m okay. Sometimes I smile as a defense mechanism, but not all the time. So, when I feel... Continue Reading →

Spiraling is the Worst.

I get one casual thought -”your birthday ‘party’ is going to suck, ” and from there it spirals. It goes down this hole of negative thoughts with the ideas of “you’re not worth it” or “you’re a burden, ” and it goes and goes. You start with thinking about your birthday, but then it connects... Continue Reading →

I Breathed to Live

Last week, I was sick, and I acted like an asshole. You know when you’re sick, and you are just completely out of it? That thinking clearly is just way out of the picture. So add that to having anxiety and depression and already having a bad week. Never a good mix. I wrote a... Continue Reading →

Anxiety & Depression Are Not Me

People in my life aren’t a fan of me when anxiety and depression take over. I don’t blame them - I am a complete asshole. I lash out. I accuse. I break down. I have no room for rational thoughts. Granted, I am getting better at controlling them now though, but I’m not perfect. However,... Continue Reading →

The Days I Hate Me

Do you ever just hate yourself a tiny bit? Or maybe a whole lot? Maybe, everything feels awful, and there’s no point. That’s me today. A lot of stuff has been happening. A LOT. With work, school, personal life, and life in general. It’s a lot for me to take on. But I just don’t... Continue Reading →

Birthday Anxiety

My birthday is coming up in the next few weeks. It’s always a weird time. I never feel special enough to do anything for my birthday or try to get anyone to do anything for my birthday. Last year, up in Vermont, was the first time since high school that I did something semi-big for... Continue Reading →

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