Everyone deals with struggles different ways, and that’s okay. Oh, my- how sometimes I forget that. When I struggle, I’m vocal. I’m not great at hiding away all my flaws. I’m not good at having people believe I’m okay. Sometimes I smile as a defense mechanism, but not all the time. So, when I feel like other people are struggling but they are distant, and I don’t know what is happening, I get lost. I want to grab them and take their pain and their struggles away. I want them to know that they can talk to me without fear of judgment. I do try to solve people’s problems. I offer advice that works for me.
“Write it down,” I say.
“Be open about it,” I tell them.
“It’s okay to struggle,” I claim.
I bet some people want to punch me in the face. I don’t blame them. When I’m enjoying a casual run, and the person I’m with starts telling me to go faster – oh I want to punch them. They don’t know the pain I’m feeling or how hard I’m trying so how can they tell me that? I should start applying that logic to my everyday life. I seem to forget it often.
When people get distant, I get lost- probably due to my anxiety making me self-centered. What did I do that made them mad? Why are they mad at me? I don’t know how to handle this. When instead, I should take a step back and look at it from their perspective. If they are tired of trying and want to feel exhaustive and maybe be shut off for a bit, that is their prerogative. If they are not ready to talk about it, that’s okay too.
What I’m trying to say is that people handle struggles different ways and that is OKAY. Do not put the way you handle things on others. Don’t have expectations on them based on what works for you. I find this challenging, and I did it today. Just take a step back and recognize that what they are going through is their journey which is going to look a lot different from yours. Be there for them in the way they need.