My anxiety is not a fan of crowds of people. I went to Trader Joe’s the other day, and it took all my willpower to keep my anxiety under control. The tight aisles. The people were moving to get just want they want. I didn’t know anyone. It’s a lot for me to take in. Last Thursday, I went to a Billy Joel concert with my boyfriend. We ended up driving due to the timing of trains. The drive itself was stressful and overwhelming. We ended up going to a pizza place – that was also crowded and paralyzing for me. My anxiety wanted to take over and just bolt out of there. I was moody and irritable. All the noise, smells, things to see – it was just too many stimulants, and it was hard for me to take in. With this, I was nervous for the concert. Did I really think I could handle going to a concert at Madison Square Garden with thousands of other people?
Just an FYI- I LOVE Billy Joel. Since third grade, I listened to all his music and has been my favorite. This concert was my third time seeing him. One time – I was able to get second-row tickets and had a fantastic time. So I have been to large concerts with him before, but my anxiety was not as bad then as it is now. This did not sink in until almost having an anxiety attack at the pizza place.
I went into Madison Square Garden with apprehension. But the concert ended up being different. It was filled with positive energy. I did not know anyone there besides my boyfriend, but everyone had a connection. Everyone was singing along to Billy Joel’s songs. Everyone was happy and doing their thing. This type crowd influenced my anxiety differently. By the end of the concert I was able to let go and sing along and dance to some of my favorite Billy Joel songs. We were together and connected, and I did not feel out of place or not good enough. I was able to breathe and be okay.
The energy of crowds matter. Having a connection to where you are matters. All of this influenced my anxiety at this concert. I went in with apprehension and left relieved. Letting go and dancing to your favorite songs are all that matters sometimes.