Pictures Don’t Show it All

This is a picture of me during my hike of Mount Katahdin. You can see me smiling and looking happy. And I was at this specific moment. What this picture doesn’t show is that I was crying twenty minutes before because of a lost friendship and feeling like I couldn’t do anything right. It doesn’t show how my mind was going with me beating myself up because I couldn’t just be happy. It doesn’t show how I overwhelmed I was with being around people for a long period of time doing so many activities. It doesn’t show I was disappointed in myself for my lapses of anxiety. It doesn’t show my toes being taped up from huge blisters. Or the cuts and bruises covering my legs. It also doesn’t show my aching muscles. You can see the happiness and proudness that I have here. Those emotions were true. It just doesn’t show the other emotions that are also just as true and just as important. I’m waiting for the time when I quit screwing up. I have good weeks then it falls apart. But I did it. I hiked it and I was proud. That matters a lot. 

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