Tomorrow I’m moving back home. After almost two years of living on my own, I’m moving back home. I’m finishing graduate school next week which is great, obviously. Then a week after that I’m going on a trip out west. I’m looking forward to that, but I’m nervous about coming home. I do not have a job waiting for me when I return. I do not know how long I will be living at home. To be honest, I’m scared. I’m scared about my mental health. I’m scared about finding a job. I do not have anything lined up. I do not know what is to become of me. Hopefully, you get the picture. It’s a lot. It’s unknown. I don’t know what is coming for me in September.
This move is different than other moves I had in the past. Moving, for me, always represents an ending of some sort. I currently don’t see this move as it being good. I try to be okay. I try to take in stride. I try not to feel like a failure. I try to feel confident about the situation. I try to think of all the good that is coming for me. I try to handle it on my own. But I can’t always do it. I can’t always be smiling. I can’t always feel positive. Sometimes changes that happen in life are scary, and they may not always be good. Moving is feeling like one of those things. It’s unknown, which means it’s going to be something bad in my mind (thanks anxiety).
Today I’m finishing packing and about to clean. It’s strange to see the empty walls and closets. The boxes are taking up my living room. Thinking of how I took my last shower here. How tonight will be the last night I sleep here. I don’t know how I’m going to handle it. The anxiety and depression surrounding this move comes and goes. Some moments I’m looking forward to being around family and my pets. On the other hand, I’m losing some freedom and my own space.
Below are some rules I created for myself so hopefully, I can handle this move with grace. These rules won’t work for every move, but this is what I needed for this one
1- Prepare early
One of the things that give me anxiety is gathering all my things together for the move. I always worry that I have too much stuff. I worry about having the time to pack everything. I start packing early. At least a month before. I pack a lot of the nonessentials first. This gives me the opportunity to take my time and not stress.
2- Plan how you will have your own space.
One of my biggest concerns about moving back home is losing my sense of independence. I will still be doing my own laundry, cooking most of my food, deciding how I spend my time, but I’m scared that psychologically I will feel more suffocated than I am on my own. Having that freedom and that ability to do what I need to do helps my anxiety and depression. I made a plan for if I feel suffocated what I can do to get a breath of fresh air. For example, going for a run or a long drive.
3- Take advantage of your move.
So yeah, this move isn’t my dream move, and I’m scared, but I can’t deny the benefits of it. I will have a dog – yes to pet therapy. I will be saving money. I will be closer to my family. This is important to recognize, and it also gives me something to hold on to.
Every move will have its own advantages. Maybe you will be closer to a city. Maybe you will have your own backyard. Maybe you will be closer to friends. Try to make a list of you’re the positives and how you plan to use them. This could give you more excitement.
4- Try to plan for what concerns you.
So one of my major concerns is being able to spend time with friends and family. I talked with my boyfriend about the move and what it means, and what I’m nervous of. We had a quick discussion, and it helped me feel a little better. I’m going to be further away, but I also am not working. So I have the time to spend to see them. I also know people who live at home that are my age, and they thrive and do well. I also try to remember that.
Different types of moves will come with different kinds of concerns. Try to think about what concerns you the most truly, and make a plan for it. Think of your options. Think of what you can do to calm those fears a bit.
5- Remember the end date.
This is a temporary situation. I won’t be there forever. Sometimes I get caught up in the what if’s – what if I never find another job, what if I live there forever, what if I lose everyone I love because I live at home? The worries go on, to be honest. I know those are all anxiety driven thoughts and are not likely to happen. I know that once I find a steady job, I can move out. When I get back from my trip, my full-time job will be looking for a full-time job. This won’t last forever. I will try to enjoy the time I have there when I can.
If this a move that you know is temporary – this helps a lot. If the move is more permanent than a different mindset is required. At that point, it is all about trying to make the best out of the situation.Moving makes my anxiety and depression a little haywire. They heighten, especially before the move. I’m lucky enough to have people near me that help me when I need it. I’m also fortunate enough to be able to think things out. These rules helped me stay calm when I needed to. It helped me see a little clearer. I still had my breakdowns, but I never stayed down.