I learned a few years ago that I didn’t want anyone to save me. I wanted to save me. I didn’t I want someone to solve all my problems. I didn’t want someone to “fix” me. I didn’t want someone to be my knight in shining armor. I wanted to be my own warrior. It took me time to get there, but I am here now.
I still need support, of course. Sometimes I need that rub on the back and someone to listen. I still have loved ones that push me when I need it. I still have loved ones who are a shoulder to cry on. I still go to therapy. I still take my medication. What I am saying is I don’t need someone to fix my problems for me. I don’t need someone to be my savior. I want that to be me. I just want them to be by my side when I do it. I want to put myself back together, but I may still need people to hand me some of my pieces. I just don’t want to depend on another person for my happiness and well-being. I want to be my own source of happiness and peace.
Since I decided to be my own savior – this is what has happened in my life:
I am better at self-soothing.
My loved ones are no longer drained.
I love doing things on my own.
I can be okay in my loneliness.
I push myself outside my comfort zone.
I have become more self-aware.
I have gotten to know myself better.
I am happier.
I am more confident.
I am more assertive.
I have healthier relationships.
I have become mentally stronger.
I have become more independent.
I am capable.
I can be a really amazing person.
During this process of saving myself, it was challenging at times. I had moments when I talked down to myself. I had moments when I gave in. I had moments when I cried myself to sleep. It was draining for me, but it made me stronger. It sounds so cliche, because when you are going through it – that doesn’t help, but looking back now I can see how crucial it was for my growth.
I learned that I am much more capable than I gave myself credit for. I bet you are too. You can save yourself. Yes, use your support system – it’s so important – but know that you are not beyond saving and you can do it for yourself. Take your time with it. Don’t pressure yourself. It’s a process. Still, go to therapy. Still, take your medication. Still, talk and spend time with loved ones. All I’m saying is that try to depend on yourself a little bit more. Fight for yourself. Be your own number one fan. Fall in love with yourself. Be your own warrior.