I Wonder How People See Me When They Find Out I Have Anxiety and Depression

For a little over a year now, I have been vocal about my struggle with anxiety and depression. I write about it. I talk about it. I reach out to people about it. Friends and family know all about it one way or another. I don’t always speak with them directly about anxiety and depression, but they may hear about it from another friend or read about it online.

With the holidays just coming to an end, I had to see a lot of my family and friends. I often wonder how do they view me now that they know I struggle with anxiety and depression?

Do they see me as a strong person who has survived? Or someone who is weak who succumbs to the pressure of life?

Do they think I’m fragile? They think they need to watch every word they say, or I may just break.

Do they think I need to just get over it? Or someone who is humanly dealing with life?

Do they see me as being brave or stupid?

Do they relate to me more now? Or do I feel more like a stranger?

Do they think it is all my fault? Or do they see it as a disease?

Maybe they will think it is just an excuse, rather than something that I can’t always control.

They could look at me with pity in their eyes, instead of pride.

Maybe now that’s the only way they see me – someone, who is anxious and depressed instead of that being just one small part of me.

IMG_4929Would I want to know how they view me? Someone as brave or weak. Would it help or hinder my recovery? Would I end up feeling more supportive or even more alone? Would it get me to stop sharing finally? Or would it matter?

Sometimes I look at people when I talk to them and try to figure it out. How does their face look when I talk? Are there any signs of how they view me?

I probably shouldn’t be concerned, and just keep doing my thing. But sometimes my mind wanders and just wonders how people view me now that they know.

 

 

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19 thoughts on “I Wonder How People See Me When They Find Out I Have Anxiety and Depression

  1. The thing about our mental health is this. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, or how they view us. What’s important is how we view ourselves. We are just trying to live each day in our own heads, and that my dear friend is called survival.
    Give yourself a much-deserved pat on the back, because you have earned it. 🙂
    God Bless you! 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  2. When we reach a stage where we are comfortable in our own skin and know that we are good enough as we are despite our struggles then we no longer worry what anybody else thinks of us and there is an amazing sense of freedom!! Keep writing & sharing you will help so many others…and yourself in the process!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post Sylvia. As a new mental health blogger I have been wonderinf these same things. I recently had a family member vocalize negative thoughts about me and my depression, because if my blogging. Although it stung it didn’t break me, because sharing my truth has set me free and connected me with others that understand the struggle. The negative responses are a risk when you put yourself out there, but the growth is amazing!

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Hi Sylvia,
    I am really enjoying reading your blog, and this posting resonated so much with me. I too, have suffered with depression and anxiety for a long time. You put into words what I feel when I connect with people who know my struggles. You my dear are so strong for writing about thoughts that are often not spoken about. My heart thanks you. 🌈

    Like

  5. Often think about this as well. It’s hard but I think the people that really know us look at us as brave. As for the rest of the world it’s impossible to know for sure but it’s best to always be you. Depression and anxiety might be a part of your life, but it doesn’t define you.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Really great post! I actually haven’t been so open about my depression and anxiety until now. I just published a blog about my mental health that I am certain will shock some of my friends and family. All of those questions are going through my head right now. but I feel like its all part of healing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes – I agree! I believe that me talking about it has greatly helped my healing – I wouldn’t change it for anything. I just always wonder how it can change people’s perspective of me – good or bad.

      Like

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