Last night, I had a chance to reflect. An opportunity to reflect on my life and my mistakes and the pain I have gone through. I realized that all this pain brought me to where I am today. Sometimes it really sucked. Sometimes I could explain the pain. There were easy explanations. Other times, I just was hollow for no specific reason. The pain could have me cry for days, not be able to get out of bed or it could have me wanting to run away and just drive anywhere. The pain had me reach out to people that maybe I wouldn’t have reached to otherwise. The pain had me lose people – some for the better and some for the worse.
The pain also taught me some important lessons. The pain had me learn the type of people I want around me. The pain had me learn how to get through some of the hardest times of my life on my own. The pain had me learn how to be by myself. The pain had me learn that it’s okay to let things go. The pain had me learn that I’m going to be okay no matter what. The pain taught me that I’m stronger than I think. The pain taught me that everything would work out eventually.
These weren’t easy lessons, and sometimes it’s tough to see in the moment of the pain and even be okay with. But if it weren’t for all the bullshit that I have gone through – I wouldn’t be where I am today. A lot of this pain came from change, but it also came from fearing it. It’s usually a sense of growth. You grow from the pain. You grow from the changes. It doesn’t make it any easier. It doesn’t help justify the pain. But knowing this helps me get through it, because I know I will.
I’ve been reflecting on this because last night I had a difficult time with my thoughts. I ended up thinking about things in the past that hurt. I ended up re-discovering one of my favorite singers, Maria Mena. All her songs are incredible – I always turn to her when I need to feel understood. Her lyrics are just amazing. But her song “Growing Pains” is what resonated with me last night. Give it a listen. Maybe you will fall in love with her as I did. Below is a quote from “Growing Pains.”
Below are some Affiliate Amazon links to some of my favorite Maria Mena albums.