There are moments in everyone’s lives that help define us. Moments that force us to see who we truly are. Moments that get us to see what we are truly capable of. Sometimes these moments are small and sometimes these moments are more dramatic. Before these moments we can have an idea of who we are and what we would do in certain situations. But then you get to experience and see the truth.
You see, anxiety and depression lead me to believe that I am less capable than I realize. It makes believe that I am incompetent. That when it comes down to it, I’m going to screw it up one way or another. It’s a hard thing to believe about yourself. It convinces you to try less. To accept life the way it is handed to you. And mostly – to just stay out of “it”. By “it” I mean anything that other people would depend on. As I said, it can make living life difficult. Lately, I have been able to push these negative thoughts away and try anything, but I just can’t do it all the time. Sometimes it is easier just to believe them.
But something happened the other day, that got me to believe in myself more. There was an emergency – I’m not going into details with who it was and what happened because that is not my role in this. First of all, let me say this person is 100% okay right now – which I am incredibly grateful for. I met the person very recently – less than 24 hours. Something not right was happening, and we needed to get help. With the help of my boyfriend, we were able to get the help this person needed. I stayed by this person’s side. I kept my composure. I thought of things that we needed to do for this person. And as I mentioned, everything turned out okay.
Before this event occurred, I would think that I would probably break down in this scenario. It wouldn’t be because I didn’t want to help, but I thought I would be overcome by anxiety and not know how to handle anything. I thought I would fail the person that needed my help.
Instead, I surprised myself. I stayed calm and helped this person instead of having a “freak out”. I was proud of myself. More so, I was incredibly happy that she was okay.
My point is that your anxiety and depression will be telling you that you are not capable of certain things. Please know, they are wrong. We are stronger than we think. We can do more than we think we can do. We are so much more capable than we realize. When the moment comes down to it, I believe I can make the right decisions now. I believe that I can handle a crisis when before, I wasn’t so sure.
There are a lot of unknowns in my future. A lot of situations will happen, that I haven’t experienced yet. I’m starting to have faith in myself to handle these new situations more. I probably will mess up sometimes, but I can learn from that.
Everyone handle’s themselves different in a crisis or emergency situation or even an unknown situation that you haven’t had to deal with before. If you mess up, forgive yourself. Self-reflect on what occurred and then move forward. Learn from it. Don’t be hard on yourself. We are not perfect. But have faith.