Losing Grip- A Poem

Sometimes I feel like the world is slipping through my hands.
As soon as I get a grip on something meaningful
I see it falling.
As soon as I feel like I figured something out
Something changes and I’m left confused.
As soon as I’m happy,
I feel life closing in.
I expect the worst, so I get the worst.
For once I would like to be proved wrong.
When the world is slipping,
I want to be able to catch it.
I wish I was perfect and never hurt anyone.
That I was in constant control of my emotions.
Instead, I tend to lose sight.
I lose sight of my future and who I want to be.
Or maybe it’s a choice – because what’s the point in trying?
Maybe I can be so much more.
Maybe if I just hold on tighter.
I know I can grasp this
Because I’m tired of seeing things fall away
I swear I’m good now – better than ever
But I also know that people who are good
DOn’t have to say they are good
But I need you to know I’m good
So you won’t run away.
Because even though the world is slipping away
I’m still standing on solid ground
My thoughts leave more easily
And I don’t always expect the worse
I smile now and even laugh.
I don’t cry as much either.
I wish I were perfect, but I’m not.
So please forgive me when things slip
And I’m not fast enough to grab them.
When the thoughts don’t move away
Quick enough and I get caught up.
Just because the worst can happen
Because of self-fulfilling prophecy
Give me the chance to see the good
Before it slips again.

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