I have a habit of being “too” something. I hear it all the time.
I’m too emotional. I care too much. I talk too loud. I laugh too loud. I talk too much. I get too excited. I’m too happy. I get too sad. I get too passionate. I can be too open. I can be too anxious. I think too much. I give too much. I give too quick. I’m too quick to trust. I give too many chances.
I’m always “too” something. I’m too much for some. Too little for others. For me, the word “too” has a negative connotation. Nobody wants to be “too” anything because too much of anything is a bad thing. For me, it translates to that I’m doing something wrong. I’m not doing the social norm. But I have yet to find the balance because I don’t know how to do moderation. I don’t know how to only give in small doses. How to only be in bits and pieces.
I’m a lot. I know this. I don’t need constant reminders. I accepted these pieces of myself. That I will be too much for some people. I need to find the ones that embrace me. That accepts my wholeheartedness. I don’t think I’m capable of doing anything different, and that is okay.
This is my superpower. This is my key to the life I’m living. Yes, a balance is needed at times. And at times, being “too” of things can get me hurt. Because when you give too much or care too much, your hurt is also multiplied. It’s not easy. You think I would have learned. Instead, I just want to keep giving.
So stop trying to dim it, people.