Celebrate Your Growth

For me, it’s really easy to be harsh on myself. To tell myself that I should be doing more. That I should be farther by now. That I am a complete mess and failure. That my anxiety and depression are in control. Every time I have a slight moment of anxiety, I feel defeated. But… Continue reading Celebrate Your Growth

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Women Who Are Anxious, Depressed, and Adventurous

I feel like there’s this nasty, persistent rumor going around that you can’t go on adventures while experiencing anxiety and depression That there is some imaginary barrier to the outdoor world if you struggle with your mental health in any fashion. To be adventurous, you need to be spontaneous, illogically brave, and incredibly strong -… Continue reading Women Who Are Anxious, Depressed, and Adventurous

When Having Alone Time is Difficult

When you’re in a relationship and living with roommates, alone time can be hard to come by. But when it happens, I cherish it. For some people out there, alone time is the time when you can gain energy back. It’s when you can truly be yourself and be happy. It’s when you can relax.… Continue reading When Having Alone Time is Difficult

Rock Climbing with Anxiety and Depression

I have anxiety and depression, and I enjoy rock climbing. I was showing someone about a recent 3-pitch climb I did (around 350 feet), and they asked me if I was scared. I said I was terrified. Then they asked me why I did it then. It’s a fair question. Why do I do this… Continue reading Rock Climbing with Anxiety and Depression

Being Aware of Anxiety and Depression

I’ve been slacking in this whole writing thing lately. It’s probably because I have been busy, but I also believe that I was subconsciously conducting an experiment. I wanted to see if the fact that I’m writing about my struggles exacerbates my struggles or if it helps me. Inside my lovely brain, I kept going… Continue reading Being Aware of Anxiety and Depression

Pretending I’m Okay Never Works

Sometimes I think I’m well - finally. That I don’t need to pay attention to my mental health as I used to. I would become so frustrated that there’s something so wrong with me - that I have to be a person that has to pay such close attention to things like that. Why can’t… Continue reading Pretending I’m Okay Never Works

I Tried to Wash You Away

I tried to starve you away. I didn’t eat hoping my body would start eating pieces of you from me instead. I tried to wash you away. I showered wishing the water would clean you from me. But you’re so imprinted on me that it’s going to take more than a shower to get rid… Continue reading I Tried to Wash You Away

No Such Thing as Clean Breaks

Sometimes, well most of the time, I wish life was black and white. That you always know the right thing to do. That walking away from things would be easy. That emotions were more easily controlled. That it was easier to work through things. That past damage didn’t affect present life so much. That problems… Continue reading No Such Thing as Clean Breaks

Goodbye Jealousy. Hello Community.

I have struggled with jealousy of other women for a long time. It’s not something I’m proud of. I always felt that I needed to be the best, when I knew that I never could. If another woman was better at an activity, prettier, smarter - it put me down entirely - even if she… Continue reading Goodbye Jealousy. Hello Community.

What Happens When You Hate Yourself

Today I am not a fan of myself, dare I say, I hate myself. Self-loathing is quite an awful thing to have because you are around yourself all the time. When you don’t like other people, you can at least escape. You can choose to not be around them, but when it’s yourself that you… Continue reading What Happens When You Hate Yourself