I Tried to Wash You Away

I tried to starve you away. I didn’t eat hoping my body would start eating pieces of you from me instead. I tried to wash you away. I showered wishing the water would clean you from me. But you’re so imprinted on me that it’s going to take more than a shower to get rid… Continue reading I Tried to Wash You Away

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No Such Thing as Clean Breaks

Sometimes, well most of the time, I wish life was black and white. That you always know the right thing to do. That walking away from things would be easy. That emotions were more easily controlled. That it was easier to work through things. That past damage didn’t affect present life so much. That problems… Continue reading No Such Thing as Clean Breaks

Goodbye Jealousy. Hello Community.

I have struggled with jealousy of other women for a long time. It’s not something I’m proud of. I always felt that I needed to be the best, when I knew that I never could. If another woman was better at an activity, prettier, smarter - it put me down entirely - even if she… Continue reading Goodbye Jealousy. Hello Community.

What Happens When You Hate Yourself

Today I am not a fan of myself, dare I say, I hate myself. Self-loathing is quite an awful thing to have because you are around yourself all the time. When you don’t like other people, you can at least escape. You can choose to not be around them, but when it’s yourself that you… Continue reading What Happens When You Hate Yourself

Weekend Adventures With Anxiety & Depression

When you work full time or have friends that do, you may often adventure on weekends to go to new places. It can be hard to wait for that one week that you and others can take off, so weekends are a logical choice. It’s a chance to get away from “normal” life. A chance… Continue reading Weekend Adventures With Anxiety & Depression

Why I’m Not Going to Pretend I’m Perfect

Social media is hard sometimes. I think most people can get that. We see what everyone else wants us to see. We see the perfect moment’s in their lives. The ideal couple shots. The exciting news. Looks when they are put together and look their best. Moments when they are happy. We don’t always hear… Continue reading Why I’m Not Going to Pretend I’m Perfect

Those Pestering Anxious and Depressive Thoughts

Those pestering anxious and depressive thoughts. You know the kind. That kind that you know are lying to you. The kind that you know is illogical. The kind you don’t want to think but come to your mind anyway. The kind that you wish would just shut up. I feel guilty for having them. I… Continue reading Those Pestering Anxious and Depressive Thoughts

Learning How to Flourish When Anxiety & Depression Knock You Down

Today is my 28th birthday. I can’t begin to explain how strange that feels. It’s easy to feel like I should be so much further in my life from where I am currently. I thought I might be settled in a career by now. I thought I would feel more like an adult than I… Continue reading Learning How to Flourish When Anxiety & Depression Knock You Down

Being Happy in the Present While Having Anxiety

In the last week or two, a lot of things are falling into place for me. Jobs. Writing. Living situations. Relationships. It’s working out. My life is a puzzle, and it’s finally coming together. I am happy. I have the typical everyday stressors that I can handle. There is also a lurking sensation of something… Continue reading Being Happy in the Present While Having Anxiety

Things I Cannot Control

Today I wake up and move forward. I talk to my therapist about things I can’t control.  I talk to her about what I can control.  It gave me an excuse to get out bed. So I will continue in this stride, with putting one foot in front of the other. Concentrating on everything that… Continue reading Things I Cannot Control