I Am Not Always Strong with Anxiety & Depression

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time to when things were easy. When the most difficult thing I had to figure out was a test in Calculus and if some dumb boy liked me. Now I feel like I have so much on top of my shoulders that I can’t give my energy… Continue reading I Am Not Always Strong with Anxiety & Depression

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How to Start Something With Anxiety and Depression

Starting anything can be hard. Starting school. Starting a relationship. Starting a new activity. Starting a journey. It all brings challenges, and those challenges can be what stops people from starting in the first place. The challenges of not knowing will happen with it. The challenge of not knowing what it will be like. The… Continue reading How to Start Something With Anxiety and Depression

I Wonder How People See Me When They Find Out I Have Anxiety and Depression

For a little over a year now, I have been vocal about my struggle with anxiety and depression. I write about it. I talk about it. I reach out to people about it. Friends and family know all about it one way or another. I don’t always speak with them directly about anxiety and depression,… Continue reading I Wonder How People See Me When They Find Out I Have Anxiety and Depression

Should Be There

I'm here. But I should be there I should have gotten better sooner  I should have figured it out sooner  I should have been present  I should have been there  Instead I'm filled with regret  With the coulds and the shoulds The what I would be doing now  It shouldn't have taken that shock  I shouldn't… Continue reading Should Be There

Trying Something Anxiety Has Stopped You From Doing in the Past

I grew up in a town in Connecticut where tubing down rivers is popular. It’s people’s favorite activity in the summer time, especially when it reaches over 90 degrees outside. My dad did this back in the day before it was commercialized. I have never done it. I always wanted to, but I never felt… Continue reading Trying Something Anxiety Has Stopped You From Doing in the Past

I Refuse to Rush Through Life

"I don't want to earn a living, I want to live." - Oscar Wilde In Vermont this weekend, my peers are presenting their master research and graduating with their master’s degree. Sometimes I think I should have been there this week, but I’m not. Sometimes I beat myself up over this fact. I think that… Continue reading I Refuse to Rush Through Life

Trusting is the Worst

I went rock climbing the other day. I was wearing the whole outfit: helmet, harness, climbing shoes. I did this climb and had a hard time using my feet. I used my knees. By the end of the climb, I was bruised, scraped, cut with blood running down my legs. On the next climb, a… Continue reading Trusting is the Worst

My Life is Changing This Week – And I’m Terrified

I gave a warning to that person in my life. “I’m going to suck this week FYI.” He probably saw that coming. This week is my last week at my internship. I have been here since August. The ending of this internship brings me another step closer to being able to graduate from graduate school.… Continue reading My Life is Changing This Week – And I’m Terrified

Living Again

You think you can't survive the pain. You sometimes don't know how you can make it through another day. But then you do. Then the days turn to weeks, and you keep getting stronger. The pain is still there, of course. It feels like a weak pulse in your gut. It's a constant reminder so… Continue reading Living Again

Birthday Anxiety

My birthday is coming up in the next few weeks. It’s always a weird time. I never feel special enough to do anything for my birthday or try to get anyone to do anything for my birthday. Last year, up in Vermont, was the first time since high school that I did something semi-big for… Continue reading Birthday Anxiety