I Tried to Wash You Away

I tried to starve you away. I didn’t eat hoping my body would start eating pieces of you from me instead. I tried to wash you away. I showered wishing the water would clean you from me. But you’re so imprinted on me that it’s going to take more than a shower to get rid… Continue reading I Tried to Wash You Away

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Love and Anxiety

As you probably know, I am anxious and can have days when I’m depressed. I can be overwhelming. I care too much. I try too hard. Some days I’m a mess. All of these can have me feeling that I’m not worthy of love. That I’m not worthy of belonging. I apologize for things I… Continue reading Love and Anxiety

He’s Probably a Psychopath: First Dates with Anxiety and Depression

I always had a weird mentality of going on first dates. Everyone has some nervousness usually before you go on a date with a person for the first time – it’s pretty typical I think. I have been on my share of first dates. Sometimes anxious or depressive thoughts can easily take over a few… Continue reading He’s Probably a Psychopath: First Dates with Anxiety and Depression

I’m a Burden, Unlovable, Obnoxious…So What’s the Point?

Here’s the thing, my mind won’t stop. You may think you know what I mean, but I’m really not sure that you do. I know that my anxiety brain takes over a lot. All these negative thoughts come swarming in. I try to do the work so that it won’t happen or I can move… Continue reading I’m a Burden, Unlovable, Obnoxious…So What’s the Point?

“I Feel Bad for Anyone Who Ever Has to Date You.”

Someone a few years ago told me: “I feel bad for anyone who ever has to date you.” Since then I haven’t been the same. I feel the guilt to this day for any person who “puts”up with me. You MUST be an angel for how can anyone honestly stick around for me? I screw… Continue reading “I Feel Bad for Anyone Who Ever Has to Date You.”

I Can’t Care Anymore

I recently decided that I can’t care anymore. I swear it’s not as bad as it sounds. As you might know, I struggle with anxiety and depression. I am doing better now and have recently learned how to control myself slightly more than in the past. I have lost people who were close to me… Continue reading I Can’t Care Anymore

Relationships

I started dating someone new about four months ago. Yes, I met him online. He's great. The relationship is moving along. I met his family and friends. He met my family and friends. I'm comfortable. I like him a lot. I am also one foot out the door. Constantly. Last year, around this time, I… Continue reading Relationships

Potential

I always see the potential Instead of what’s really there I remember the promises Not the actions I don’t use the word “just” I tend to give my all Even when I know, I shouldn’t My heart often gets broken I’m filled with disappointment I still keep my compassion Never letting experience harden My soul… Continue reading Potential