I Tried to Wash You Away

I tried to starve you away. I didn’t eat hoping my body would start eating pieces of you from me instead. I tried to wash you away. I showered wishing the water would clean you from me. But you’re so imprinted on me that it’s going to take more than a shower to get rid… Continue reading I Tried to Wash You Away

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Being Happy in the Present While Having Anxiety

In the last week or two, a lot of things are falling into place for me. Jobs. Writing. Living situations. Relationships. It’s working out. My life is a puzzle, and it’s finally coming together. I am happy. I have the typical everyday stressors that I can handle. There is also a lurking sensation of something… Continue reading Being Happy in the Present While Having Anxiety

Back to Reality and Anxiety

So these past two weeks I have been mainly living in a van and traveling with my boyfriend and traveling around Southwest USA. During our trip, my anxiety and depression were pretty low. Anxiety and depression never took over and ruined our trip. I was able to relax. I was able to be adventurous. I’m… Continue reading Back to Reality and Anxiety

I Deserve Peace and Happiness

The other day, my friend told me that we weren't supposed to feel like this. You see, we are both currently struggling with anxiety and depression. We are both waiting for night to come to sleep. She said “we weren't supposed to be suffering. We weren't supposed to be unhappy for no reason. We deserve… Continue reading I Deserve Peace and Happiness

Life’s Unknowns With Anxiety and Depression

After September third, I’m not sure what I’m doing with my life. It scares me completely. When my anxiety mind takes over, I see it as the end. I see all the light until that moment, and then my life is seen as darkness. After the beginning September, my life seems over. These beliefs also… Continue reading Life’s Unknowns With Anxiety and Depression

Anxiety and Depression: Run Your Own Race

The problem, well one of the many problems, with my anxiety and depression is comparing. I compare myself to others constantly. I always feel the unnecessary need to be the best. Or I have to be better than someone or people will leave me. It’s something I have been striving to let go of. Trying… Continue reading Anxiety and Depression: Run Your Own Race

Decisions When You Can’t Hear Your Own Voice

How do you know what the right decision is? How do you know what option is best? I have all these voices in my head telling me one thing or the other. Telling me what would be best for me or what would make my life a complete mess. Sometimes I can almost hear my… Continue reading Decisions When You Can’t Hear Your Own Voice

My Life is Changing This Week – And I’m Terrified

I gave a warning to that person in my life. “I’m going to suck this week FYI.” He probably saw that coming. This week is my last week at my internship. I have been here since August. The ending of this internship brings me another step closer to being able to graduate from graduate school.… Continue reading My Life is Changing This Week – And I’m Terrified

Being a Badass

There’s these particular type of people who I find incredibly “badass,” “cool,” “risk-takers,” “hardcore,” or whatever word you would like to substitute. These are the people who ski in the backcountry, the ones that rock climb a thousand feet, who bike across the country, the ones who are “daring” or “adventurous”. I always wanted to… Continue reading Being a Badass