Recently, I have done a lot of “talk” about being okay being alone, which I am. I am truly okay with being single. Being single, however, is only one part of socialization and connection. I love doing things alone. I love having alone time. But I don’t love doing things alone or having alone time… Continue reading Abandonment. Loneliness. Anxiety.
I haven’t been writing because I haven’t been knowing what I’ve been feeling or experiencing. I am so used to easily defining my life by my anxiety and depression… as some of you may be as well. If something is wrong, it’s either my anxiety or depression acting up. I warn oncoming people in my… Continue reading Learning to Be Alone and Happier for It
Today I’m feeling proud. It’s not necessarily a feeling I’m used to. It’s not a feeling I really allow myself to feel. Recently, my anxiety has been high. Insecurity has consumed me. I cried. I wanted to run away from everyone in my life because I thought they would be better off without me. I… Continue reading Today, I am Proud of Myself.
Anxiety and depression come with a lot of feelings that I’m not a fan of. The feeling of waiting for the fall. When things are going well, you are just waiting for something bad to happen. Because of course, things can’t be going well for you. The feeling of never being enough, but also being… Continue reading I Am More Than My Anxiety and Depression (Though I Don’t Always Feel That Way)
For the past few months, my anxiety and depression have been under control. I could handle the irrational thoughts. I could tell when I needed a break. I could tell when I needed some help. I thought I was finally an expert at handling my anxiety. That it could no longer sneak one past me.… Continue reading I May Be Doing Well, But I Still Get Anxiety Attacks.
I have ventured into the outdoors throughout the past few years. I have grown accustomed to trekking on trails, climbing up cliffs, and sleeping in tents. But I wasn’t always that way. For a long time, I never thought I was good enough to spend time outdoors for numerous different reasons. Anxiety kept me from… Continue reading Experiencing the Outdoors With Anxiety and Depression
I’ve been slacking in this whole writing thing lately. It’s probably because I have been busy, but I also believe that I was subconsciously conducting an experiment. I wanted to see if the fact that I’m writing about my struggles exacerbates my struggles or if it helps me. Inside my lovely brain, I kept going… Continue reading Being Aware of Anxiety and Depression
Sometimes I think I’m well - finally. That I don’t need to pay attention to my mental health as I used to. I would become so frustrated that there’s something so wrong with me - that I have to be a person that has to pay such close attention to things like that. Why can’t… Continue reading Pretending I’m Okay Never Works
I tried to starve you away. I didn’t eat hoping my body would start eating pieces of you from me instead. I tried to wash you away. I showered wishing the water would clean you from me. But you’re so imprinted on me that it’s going to take more than a shower to get rid… Continue reading I Tried to Wash You Away
Today I am not a fan of myself, dare I say, I hate myself. Self-loathing is quite an awful thing to have because you are around yourself all the time. When you don’t like other people, you can at least escape. You can choose to not be around them, but when it’s yourself that you… Continue reading What Happens When You Hate Yourself