This past year was a year of being uncomfortable. It was a year of reflection. A year of struggle. A year of learning to be on my own. When quickly looking back on this past year, all I could think of was loneliness and strife. I had months of being angry and resentful. Months of… Continue reading 2019 Reflection & Looking Ahead
There come moments when a piece of information knocks you in your gut. It feels like a sucker punch. Information that has you question your own decisions and self-esteem. Here is the information I learned: my ex-boyfriend started dating someone the month we broke up and they dated for seven months. My stuff was barely… Continue reading Post Break-Up Sucker Punch: Overcoming the Relapse
Recently, I have done a lot of “talk” about being okay being alone, which I am. I am truly okay with being single. Being single, however, is only one part of socialization and connection. I love doing things alone. I love having alone time. But I don’t love doing things alone or having alone time… Continue reading Abandonment. Loneliness. Anxiety.
I haven’t been writing because I haven’t been knowing what I’ve been feeling or experiencing. I am so used to easily defining my life by my anxiety and depression… as some of you may be as well. If something is wrong, it’s either my anxiety or depression acting up. I warn oncoming people in my… Continue reading Learning to Be Alone and Happier for It
Today I’m feeling proud. It’s not necessarily a feeling I’m used to. It’s not a feeling I really allow myself to feel. Recently, my anxiety has been high. Insecurity has consumed me. I cried. I wanted to run away from everyone in my life because I thought they would be better off without me. I… Continue reading Today, I am Proud of Myself.
Anxiety and depression come with a lot of feelings that I’m not a fan of. The feeling of waiting for the fall. When things are going well, you are just waiting for something bad to happen. Because of course, things can’t be going well for you. The feeling of never being enough, but also being… Continue reading I Am More Than My Anxiety and Depression (Though I Don’t Always Feel That Way)
For the past few months, my anxiety and depression have been under control. I could handle the irrational thoughts. I could tell when I needed a break. I could tell when I needed some help. I thought I was finally an expert at handling my anxiety. That it could no longer sneak one past me.… Continue reading I May Be Doing Well, But I Still Get Anxiety Attacks.
I have ventured into the outdoors throughout the past few years. I have grown accustomed to trekking on trails, climbing up cliffs, and sleeping in tents. But I wasn’t always that way. For a long time, I never thought I was good enough to spend time outdoors for numerous different reasons. Anxiety kept me from… Continue reading Experiencing the Outdoors With Anxiety and Depression
I’ve been slacking in this whole writing thing lately. It’s probably because I have been busy, but I also believe that I was subconsciously conducting an experiment. I wanted to see if the fact that I’m writing about my struggles exacerbates my struggles or if it helps me. Inside my lovely brain, I kept going… Continue reading Being Aware of Anxiety and Depression
Sometimes I think I’m well - finally. That I don’t need to pay attention to my mental health as I used to. I would become so frustrated that there’s something so wrong with me - that I have to be a person that has to pay such close attention to things like that. Why can’t… Continue reading Pretending I’m Okay Never Works