Learning to Be Alone and Happier for It

I haven’t been writing because I haven’t been knowing what I’ve been feeling or experiencing. I am so used to easily defining my life by my anxiety and depression… as some of you may be as well. If something is wrong, it’s either my anxiety or depression acting up. I warn oncoming people in my… Continue reading Learning to Be Alone and Happier for It

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I’m Guarded, and I Hate it

Yesterday was the last day of school for a few weeks. I went out with all my coworkers. They call themselves family because that is what they are to each other. They are close. They are connected. Then there’s me. Still slightly on the outside. It’s not their fault. It is really mine. I don’t… Continue reading I’m Guarded, and I Hate it

I Guess I Should Talk About Dating

Often times, when I’m writing or talking or working or even just existing, I think to myself “who do I think I am?” Because honestly, most of the time I’m winging it. I also don’t know how to pretend and I really wish I did. I wish I could pretend to be the cool, chill… Continue reading I Guess I Should Talk About Dating

Spring is Here. So is Painful Change & Growth

Spring is here, which brings new beginnings and growth...right? I read quotes about how change and growth being painful, I just still wish it wasn’t so. If you couldn’t infer from my Instagram posts, I’m going through a breakup. It’s extremely emotionally painful. I’m having a hard time going through the process of grieving. The… Continue reading Spring is Here. So is Painful Change & Growth

Today, I am Proud of Myself.

Today I’m feeling proud. It’s not necessarily a feeling I’m used to. It’s not a feeling I really allow myself to feel. Recently, my anxiety has been high. Insecurity has consumed me. I cried. I wanted to run away from everyone in my life because I thought they would be better off without me. I… Continue reading Today, I am Proud of Myself.

I Am More Than My Anxiety and Depression (Though I Don’t Always Feel That Way)

Anxiety and depression come with a lot of feelings that I’m not a fan of. The feeling of waiting for the fall. When things are going well, you are just waiting for something bad to happen. Because of course, things can’t be going well for you. The feeling of never being enough, but also being… Continue reading I Am More Than My Anxiety and Depression (Though I Don’t Always Feel That Way)

When Having Alone Time is Difficult

When you’re in a relationship and living with roommates, alone time can be hard to come by. But when it happens, I cherish it. For some people out there, alone time is the time when you can gain energy back. It’s when you can truly be yourself and be happy. It’s when you can relax.… Continue reading When Having Alone Time is Difficult

Being Aware of Anxiety and Depression

I’ve been slacking in this whole writing thing lately. It’s probably because I have been busy, but I also believe that I was subconsciously conducting an experiment. I wanted to see if the fact that I’m writing about my struggles exacerbates my struggles or if it helps me. Inside my lovely brain, I kept going… Continue reading Being Aware of Anxiety and Depression

Pretending I’m Okay Never Works

Sometimes I think I’m well - finally. That I don’t need to pay attention to my mental health as I used to. I would become so frustrated that there’s something so wrong with me - that I have to be a person that has to pay such close attention to things like that. Why can’t… Continue reading Pretending I’m Okay Never Works

I Tried to Wash You Away

I tried to starve you away. I didn’t eat hoping my body would start eating pieces of you from me instead. I tried to wash you away. I showered wishing the water would clean you from me. But you’re so imprinted on me that it’s going to take more than a shower to get rid… Continue reading I Tried to Wash You Away