Learning to Be Alone and Happier for It

I haven’t been writing because I haven’t been knowing what I’ve been feeling or experiencing. I am so used to easily defining my life by my anxiety and depression… as some of you may be as well. If something is wrong, it’s either my anxiety or depression acting up. I warn oncoming people in my… Continue reading Learning to Be Alone and Happier for It

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I’m Guarded, and I Hate it

Yesterday was the last day of school for a few weeks. I went out with all my coworkers. They call themselves family because that is what they are to each other. They are close. They are connected. Then there’s me. Still slightly on the outside. It’s not their fault. It is really mine. I don’t… Continue reading I’m Guarded, and I Hate it

Healing is a Process

It’s been two months. Two months since things changed. Two months since I had to reassess my life. I am doing well. Really well. I created friend groups. I have gone on adventures. I really love my job. I’m starting graduate school in a few weeks. On paper, my life is moving along. I am… Continue reading Healing is a Process

Back to Me: Feeling Grateful

It’s been over a month now. My birthday is tomorrow. And it’s not going to be what it’s supposed to be. Or, I guess, what it was going to be. But I’m doing my best to make sure I enjoy it. I’m learning to let go of expectations. Before March, I had an idea of… Continue reading Back to Me: Feeling Grateful

Spring is Here. So is Painful Change & Growth

Spring is here, which brings new beginnings and growth...right? I read quotes about how change and growth being painful, I just still wish it wasn’t so. If you couldn’t infer from my Instagram posts, I’m going through a breakup. It’s extremely emotionally painful. I’m having a hard time going through the process of grieving. The… Continue reading Spring is Here. So is Painful Change & Growth

I Tried to Wash You Away

I tried to starve you away. I didn’t eat hoping my body would start eating pieces of you from me instead. I tried to wash you away. I showered wishing the water would clean you from me. But you’re so imprinted on me that it’s going to take more than a shower to get rid… Continue reading I Tried to Wash You Away

Things I Cannot Control

Today I wake up and move forward. I talk to my therapist about things I can’t control.  I talk to her about what I can control.  It gave me an excuse to get out bed. So I will continue in this stride, with putting one foot in front of the other. Concentrating on everything that… Continue reading Things I Cannot Control

Love. Baggage. Relationships. Anxiety.

The thing about relationships which is usually difficult for me - is that you can’t control the other person. You can’t always know what that person is feeling. You can’t always understand why the person does what they do. You can’t always dictate how they react. And you can’t change their past. A person comes… Continue reading Love. Baggage. Relationships. Anxiety.

Love and Anxiety

As you probably know, I am anxious and can have days when I’m depressed. I can be overwhelming. I care too much. I try too hard. Some days I’m a mess. All of these can have me feeling that I’m not worthy of love. That I’m not worthy of belonging. I apologize for things I… Continue reading Love and Anxiety

Letting Anxiety Control Your Present in Relationships

anxiety control present relationships

Everyone has a past. It is just a fact. People will have lives before and after you. Their past brought them to you. When you care about someone, it’s important to appreciate that fact and understand it. When you have anxiety, understanding the past and not overthinking it, can be extremely difficult. You start to… Continue reading Letting Anxiety Control Your Present in Relationships