It’s been two months. Two months since things changed. Two months since I had to reassess my life. I am doing well. Really well. I created friend groups. I have gone on adventures. I really love my job. I’m starting graduate school in a few weeks. On paper, my life is moving along. I am… Continue reading Healing is a Process
It’s been over a month now. My birthday is tomorrow. And it’s not going to be what it’s supposed to be. Or, I guess, what it was going to be. But I’m doing my best to make sure I enjoy it. I’m learning to let go of expectations. Before March, I had an idea of… Continue reading Back to Me: Feeling Grateful
Spring is here, which brings new beginnings and growth...right? I read quotes about how change and growth being painful, I just still wish it wasn’t so. If you couldn’t infer from my Instagram posts, I’m going through a breakup. It’s extremely emotionally painful. I’m having a hard time going through the process of grieving. The… Continue reading Spring is Here. So is Painful Change & Growth
I tried to starve you away. I didn’t eat hoping my body would start eating pieces of you from me instead. I tried to wash you away. I showered wishing the water would clean you from me. But you’re so imprinted on me that it’s going to take more than a shower to get rid… Continue reading I Tried to Wash You Away
Today I wake up and move forward. I talk to my therapist about things I can’t control. I talk to her about what I can control. It gave me an excuse to get out bed. So I will continue in this stride, with putting one foot in front of the other. Concentrating on everything that… Continue reading Things I Cannot Control
The thing about relationships which is usually difficult for me - is that you can’t control the other person. You can’t always know what that person is feeling. You can’t always understand why the person does what they do. You can’t always dictate how they react. And you can’t change their past. A person comes… Continue reading Love. Baggage. Relationships. Anxiety.
As you probably know, I am anxious and can have days when I’m depressed. I can be overwhelming. I care too much. I try too hard. Some days I’m a mess. All of these can have me feeling that I’m not worthy of love. That I’m not worthy of belonging. I apologize for things I… Continue reading Love and Anxiety
Everyone has a past. It is just a fact. People will have lives before and after you. Their past brought them to you. When you care about someone, it’s important to appreciate that fact and understand it. When you have anxiety, understanding the past and not overthinking it, can be extremely difficult. You start to… Continue reading Letting Anxiety Control Your Present in Relationships
Sometimes I wish I could be everything Because then I would never be nothing. Then I could never have competition. I could be everything you needed me to be. And more. I would never have to wonder about others Because they wouldn’t be better than me. If I was everything, then I could be happy.… Continue reading I Wish I Could Be Everything.
One of my biggest triggers with my anxiety and depression is becoming overwhelmed or being reminded of everything that I am not. Both of these are pretty common in my life. Being aware of these triggers in only the first step and they can easily influence each other. Everything I Am Not: Past Relationship I… Continue reading Let’s Take a Look at My Anxiety Triggers