Everyone has a past. It is just a fact. People will have lives before and after you. Their past brought them to you. When you care about someone, it’s important to appreciate that fact and understand it. When you have anxiety, understanding the past and not overthinking it, can be extremely difficult. You start to… Continue reading Letting Anxiety Control Your Present in Relationships
Sometimes I wish I could be everything Because then I would never be nothing. Then I could never have competition. I could be everything you needed me to be. And more. I would never have to wonder about others Because they wouldn’t be better than me. If I was everything, then I could be happy.… Continue reading I Wish I Could Be Everything.
One of my biggest triggers with my anxiety and depression is becoming overwhelmed or being reminded of everything that I am not. Both of these are pretty common in my life. Being aware of these triggers in only the first step and they can easily influence each other. Everything I Am Not: Past Relationship I… Continue reading Let’s Take a Look at My Anxiety Triggers
I'm here. But I should be there I should have gotten better sooner I should have figured it out sooner I should have been present I should have been there Instead I'm filled with regret With the coulds and the shoulds The what I would be doing now It shouldn't have taken that shock I shouldn't… Continue reading Should Be There
In rock climbing, you can encounter cruxes on climbs. According to REI, a crux is The toughest move or sequence of moves on a climb. It’s when you get to the point of the climb that you don’t always know if you are going to make it over. It’s the point where you have to… Continue reading I’m Your Crux. Anxiety & Depression are Mine.
When it's 3am and I can't sleep My thoughts roam to the demons that rule this hour I avoid looking in mirrors I don't dare make too much At 4am the real demons come The ones that make sleeping impossible Am I doing enough ? Am I enough ? Is this the right path ? … Continue reading Late Night Thoughts
A few months ago I made a video for a family member for their wedding. I remember saying “but what the fuck do I know about love?” Maybe I still do not know anything. Maybe I fool myself into thinking I do. Since I was younger, I had a fantasy of love in my head.… Continue reading Love, Relationships, Anxiety, Depression
Lately, I have been feeling alone, scared, lost, and frustrated in most aspects of my life. I haven’t really been sure what to do about it. There’s a lot of big decisions in my life coming up, and I’m having a hard time trying to figure out what I want. Looking beyond what others think… Continue reading Anxiety, Depression, & the Past
I trust that you will never intentionally hurt me. I trust that you will always have good intentions. I trust that I am worthy of you and you are worthy of me. I trust that even when I fall apart, you will still stay by my side. I trust that I will always be in… Continue reading I Trust I am Worthy and Enough
I went rock climbing the other day. I was wearing the whole outfit: helmet, harness, climbing shoes. I did this climb and had a hard time using my feet. I used my knees. By the end of the climb, I was bruised, scraped, cut with blood running down my legs. On the next climb, a… Continue reading Trusting is the Worst