I Tried to Wash You Away

I tried to starve you away. I didn’t eat hoping my body would start eating pieces of you from me instead. I tried to wash you away. I showered wishing the water would clean you from me. But you’re so imprinted on me that it’s going to take more than a shower to get rid… Continue reading I Tried to Wash You Away

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Don’t Tell Me What to Do

Everyone deals with struggles different ways, and that’s okay. Oh, my- how sometimes I forget that. When I struggle, I’m vocal. I’m not great at hiding away all my flaws. I’m not good at having people believe I’m okay. Sometimes I smile as a defense mechanism, but not all the time. So, when I feel… Continue reading Don’t Tell Me What to Do

Talk and Show it All

I smile a lot. Sometimes I’m quite outgoing and can talk a lot and loudly. Sometimes I feel like I have to talk to everyone and include them. I reach out often. I do my best to invite others to events. People can view me as an extrovert. Sometimes when I tell people I struggle… Continue reading Talk and Show it All

Better Than Me

I have this habit of thinking that I’m the worst. I often feel sorry for the people in my life and the fact they have to put up with me. I feel bad for the friends who hang out with me, the people I work with, and my family for being stuck with me. That… Continue reading Better Than Me

Everyone Else Has it Better

It’s easy to judge others on the outside looking in. Especially, with social media nowadays. With looking at people’s lives on social media, it is easy to assume that everyone has a perfect life. We see their highlights. We see what everyone else wants us to see. Usually and understandably, people want us to see… Continue reading Everyone Else Has it Better

Bits & Pieces of Me

When I think of myself, of who I am, I often think of anxiety and depression topping the list. Those two identities often influence my daily life and relationships. I see myself as a burden because of them. I was talking to my therapist about this, and she mentioned that is not what others see… Continue reading Bits & Pieces of Me

Being a Badass

There’s these particular type of people who I find incredibly “badass,” “cool,” “risk-takers,” “hardcore,” or whatever word you would like to substitute. These are the people who ski in the backcountry, the ones that rock climb a thousand feet, who bike across the country, the ones who are “daring” or “adventurous”. I always wanted to… Continue reading Being a Badass

Weak days and Strong days

Some days I feel weak. Other days I feel strong. Mentally that is. On days I feel weak, I think of all the past events that still affect me in some way. I had a therapy appointment where I talked about a past “trauma.” I put quotes around the word “trauma” because I feel ridiculous… Continue reading Weak days and Strong days

Today I Struggle

For the past three months, I haven’t been working. I had freedom. I explored Vermont. I traveled to Steamboat Springs and San Francisco. I moved to a new town. I dated. I was doing amazing. I started seeing a therapist last week. Even though I know I should see one, I almost felt like I… Continue reading Today I Struggle

Day 03: Something with which you struggle.

Okay – so I think if you have read any pieces from my blog you will realize I struggle with anxiety and depression. It comes and goes. It’s constantly there. I have to be constantly aware of what I’m doing and how it can affect my mental health. I don’t talk about that all the… Continue reading Day 03: Something with which you struggle.